are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
