I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
