it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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