Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
being pregnant is like rehab
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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