Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
