I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
