He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i dont even know how to be here
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My vagina is officially offended.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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