need another drink. this is the easiest way
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
