Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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