My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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