So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize