his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
