I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
