I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
