I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize