From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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