she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
