There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
