I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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