We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
