It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
how drunk are you?
Several
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
