i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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