so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
