Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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