she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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