There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Randomize
