PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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