It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
