i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So much Jack, so little girl.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
