worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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