Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize