I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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