And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
