i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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