he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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