Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Randomize
