If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
