dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
