I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize
