One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Just cropdusted the office
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize