yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
