just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We are two peas in an std pod
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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