Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
