I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Randomize
