Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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