is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
