You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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