she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
wow bdsm is so cute
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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