Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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