He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
