I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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