i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
