Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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