so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
