Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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