we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
