in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
