so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
