he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
