It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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