I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
