dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
