I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
