It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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