But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
