one might say we're banned from that church
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
