The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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