Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
