Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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