What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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