Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
