well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
