happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
