Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
