if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
