if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
