I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize