so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
