I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
