Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
