He is an equal opportunity slut.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
