This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
