There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
