It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
