This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
